The Vibrant Depths

This post was initially published in 2022.

My name is Sushil Preet Kaur, a string of Sanskrit words that I always must pronounce and spell for others, but I do so gladly. It’s my name after all, and I appreciate it being pronounced and spelled properly.

It’s a powerful name, if I may say so myself, one that piques curiosity and tells a story of who I am. “Sushil” has many meanings – chiefly, “intelligent” or “virtuous” – while “Preet” is simply “love” and “Kaur,” the middle name given to all my Sikh sisters, means “Princess.”* So, altogether, I am the “Princess of Intelligent and Virtuous Love.”

And today – yes, this very day, perhaps for the first time ever – I feel it is true. (Although, I must say, I consider myself a Queen.)

In some ways, it seems so audacious to write that, to let it out into the universe and so make it real. But today, thanks to deep work I’ve been doing with a wonderful healer named Christine, I can honestly say that I’m not going to hide anymore. My voice matters. I have things to say, and I’m going to say them – not for the sake of having them heard, but simply for the sake of saying them. Writing them. Embodying them and making them tangible.

It’s one thing to think them or file them away in a notebook that I’ll just throw in a corner and never look at again (and how dare anyone else look at them either); it’s quite another to send them forth and let them be witnessed, if they are to be witnessed, these ideas of mine.

There is so much to get out of my head, so much to birth, to create. So many places to start. I’ve been longing to stand in my power for so long, and finally I feel I can. And I will.

I have so much gratitude: for the healing process that is leading to the creative process, for the healer who facilitated my growth, for anyone who chooses to read this. But mostly, I am filled with gratitude for myself, for allowing the growth, the evolution, the change. For creating. For being all that I AM.

Onward.

*Our Sikh brothers all have the middle name “Singh,” or “Lion.”